Thanks for Quitting You Old Asshole! Just More Rolling for Me!

For a while I have been thinking of a proper follow-up article to the flurry of controversial articles I made. It isn’t that I have run out of ideas to talk about, far from it. I just have so many ideas that I have to get them sorted out. Then, suddenly, I read an amazing interview with Rob G from the Shocked blog (one of the better blading blogs in the internet in my opinion, check it out at http://stabyourselfintheface.com) and it inspired me to write about a topic that is ever present in my life. Blading when you get older.

I am not going to lie, this shit gets harder, both physically and mentally, as you get older. I remember when I first started rolling I could take a slam like it was nothing and just keep on going. No morning after pain, no muscle pulls, and no stretching or Advil needed. Fast forward almost a decade later, and it isn’t like that anymore. I am a bag of shit. My knees are bad, my legs are all scarred up and have nerve damage, and I am questioning my ability to reproduce from the numerous times I racked myself (which is good in some situations). As I continue to grow older and rollerblade I have learned one valuable lesson, I can’t treat my body like it is still fifteen. Now I know you younger rollers hear that all the time, and when I was young I was like “fuck these old bags of shit, I will never end up like that,” but trust me, rollerblading is as good for your body as cigarettes for cancer patients.* Our whole lifestyle is based on the premise that eventually you are going to get hurt (it’s just a question of how badly). That’s one of its twisted appeals. If everyone could do it why the fuck would I even care about it? It would have as much of an appeal to me as “extreme” breathing (which I am sure is more popular than rollerblading in some corner of the globe). However, I am paying the price for this adrenaline addiction. Sometimes I want to rollerblade but I am physically incapable of doing so, whether it is from extreme soreness, pain, sprains, or bad muscle pulls. These injuries fuck with your head. Even when I am at 100% I still question doing some things on the premise of rehashing an old injury. My mind didn’t play these games with me when I was younger. Getting older sucks, but does this stop me from rollerblading? No.

The physical pain and the mental second guessing isn’t as much as a problem as the responsibilities that come with being older and trying to rollerblade. I recently picked up a “real job” and got slapped in the face with multiple responsibilities. I even found myself setting my own curfews, turning down sex for sleep at times, and refraining from drinking (if you told my sixteen year old self this he would degrade me, kick me in the balls, and then proceed to emasculate me). I find that these responsibilities make rollerblading harder. I can no longer get up at 12PM and blade until 2AM during the week, I can no longer pick up my skates anytime during the day and catch a skate. I also find myself coming home tired from work, and not wanting to do anything but sleep. No doubt, the responsibilities that come with being older makes wanting to rollerblade, or finding time to rollerblade, harder. Does this stop me? No.

Have people used the excuses provided above to not rollerblade as much, or stop rollerblading all together? Yes. Those people are bitches in the truest sense of the word.

I am tired of hearing older rollers that quit (or come out twice a year) recite the same bullshit lines, “It got too hard, man,” “I didn’t have the time,” “My body couldn’t take it.” Sometimes. SOMETIMES, these statements hold true, but for the most part, when I hear people say them, all I hear is “Nick, I became a bitch and rollerblading crushed me under its greatness.” Then I begin to tune these people out as if they were adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon. I think these people were looking for an excuse to quit (or barely skate) anyway, getting older just provided them with everything they needed. If you truly love doing something you stick with it, it is as simple as that. Sure it gets harder to blade as you get older, but it doesn’t mean you quit, you just learn to adapt. This is where Rob G comes in. I don’t know Rob G’s exact age, but I know he is over 26 years old, and not only has he stuck with rollerblading as he has gotten older, he has gotten better! Now you’re saying, “Nick, you’re a dumb, Rob G is a sponsored pro, and all he has ever done is rollerblade.” And to those people I say, fuck you. Rob G wasn’t always sponsored, for a while, between skatepile and fiziks going out of business Rob G had barely any sponsors (and definitely none of the “big hitters” like boot companies). Also, sponsorship in rollerblading is about as useful as covering everyday expenses with monopoly money (seriously, I think extreme ironing gets more money, which is a shame). Rob G is the epitome of learning to adapt as you get older, for me at least (there are others out there as well, Jon Julio being the most immediate name coming to my mind). I literally become inspired when I watch Rob G skate, and it isn’t just his skating that inspires me. He has inspired me to treat my body better, and realize how crucial it becomes to do so as I get older. He has also inspired me to look at rollerblading differently, as more of a long-term activity rather than just something I do in the moment. I now find myself adjusting my diet, exercising more to stay in shape, stretching more, and warming up a fair amount before trying my hardest tricks right off the bat. I have even found an interest in yoga, you might think that’s “gay,” but I think it’s cool and challenging. I am not just focusing on the physical either. When I come home from a hard day at work when the boss was on my ass all day, and all I want to do is sleep, I tell myself, “stop being bitch, and go out there and do what you love.” One of my greatest fears is becoming one of these lethargic ex-rollerbladers who reminisce about the glory days and stops experiencing them. I want rolling to be a constant in my life, unlike those gelatinous dumb fucks.

So for all those who quit, all I can say is, “thank you.” You helped rid rolling of fake bitches whose natural instinct is to give up when things get hard. We didn’t need you to begin with, but if you really want to help out rolling even more, please buy some more products and let it rot in your basement/garage (or you know, give it to me so it can get some use). To me you’re just as good as those people who carry around skateboard that have never seen any use. You’re fake. You never loved rolling. Also, thank you, because since you left, there is just that much more rolling out there for me and my friends to enjoy.**

***SIDE NOTE: Be sure to check out Rob G’s blog at http://controlledaccidents.wordpress.com it is definitely a good read that provides a lot of insight.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

*I say rollerblading is bad for our bodies just from the mere fact that it involves getting injured at some point. However, I am aware of the great workout rollerblading provides when you are not getting hurt.

**I am aware rolling isn’t finite for all you smart asses out there.

-Nick. D

This Is Fuckin’ Awesome

I miss the good ol’ days. Memories.

-Nick. D

Don’t Forget, VanAM is Coming Up

VanAM is coming up, so if your around the Vancouver area be sure to check it out and participate. THIS WEBSITE will give you more info if your interested. For the original post go HERE.

-Nick. D

“Who We Are” a Rollerblading Documentary.

I dug this. Thought it was well done. Much respect goes out to David Amkhinich and his group who put this together for a school project. Don’t let the “school project” part throw you off, this is legit.

-Nick. D

I really liked this edit of Blair Loughead, Andrew Boyle, and Aaron Mcinnis skating the park in Milton, Ontario. I assume it was shot and edit by AJ DeLong, seeing as it is on his vimeo page, and on the main page of Bladr (AJ’s Website). It is definitely not just some royal and sloppy looking tricks, there are some serious hammers in this one. Entertaining all the way through. Enjoy!

I originally got this off of the Bladr main page.

**Edit: It looks like Aaron Mcinnis was the one who edited the video. Not AJ. Thanks for the heads up AJ.**

-Nick. D

Popularity Contest Results!

1st Place – Mr. Popular – Dustin Weberski (Shop Task Pro Rider)

2nd Place – Chase Gardiner

3rd Place – Danny Beer

Best Line – Dave Schjakilar

Best Young Buck – Matt Garity

Best Trick – Kenny Talpa

Taken from the Task Blog HERE.

Nick’s Response To K-God’s Article

Before you read this article you must read K-God’s article HERE for any of this to make sense.

I figured I would respond to K-God’s article point by point to answer all his questions and address all his accusations.

1) K-God Compares Rollerblading to the Olympics. It Ends Poorly.

Well, “K-God,” rollerblading isn’t in the Olympics, thus, showing no correlation between Rollerblading’s situation (many people hardly knowing rollerblading exists) and the Olympics (a world wide televised event that people wait years to watch). I like how you used what I said out of context to prove that it is the dumbest thing I ever said and that I am a “…a complete fucking idiot!” though.  This is a rollerblading website, and all topics I write about are conducive to rollerblading. When I made the statement that,

“I am willing to go as far as saying that if your competition is not a part of the World Rolling Series, then you have no right to use these titles”

It meant that all rollerblading competition shouldn’t use the categories “pro” or “am”  if they were not in the World Rolling Series. You took the statement completely out the article’s context, which was all about rollerblading competitions and categories (you can read it HERE), and placed it in the broader context of the world’s largest set of competitions, which the article didn’t touch on at all (but I tell you what, if rollerblading reaches 1/10th of the popularity of the Olympics or 1/10th of its notoriety, within the next 5 years, your statement may gain some validity. SOME).  I can only assume that you drew those conclusions yourself, but they are weakly correlated. Better luck next time though. Reading comprehension, it is a beautiful thing.

2) K-God says I Have a Reading Public, but then Tells Me to Stop Writing. I Become Confused.

In K-God’s second paragraph he tells me that

“Why? Oh god why? On earth would you go on bladr.com and say that if we the reading publics were to write and article that you would put it up on Canadian Roll.”

This indicates to me that I have a reading public. K-God included, because he took time out to read my articles and respond to them. He even responded to my messages on the bladr board. However, in his last paragraph he tells me to “…Stop Giving Advice.” There are a few problems wrong with this statement.

First, K-God needs someone to teach him the difference between an opinion and advice. I never once stated that I was giving advice to the rollerblading community. Just sharing my opinions. People may be offended by my opinions, but it was their choice to read them, and I never imposed them on anyone in the form of advice. Second, if I have a reading public, including yourself, K-God, why would I stop writing my opinions (which you confused with advice). It seems that a lot of people deem my opinions to be valid (evidence can be found HERE, HERE and HERE and those are just a few).  Lastly, to answer you question of why I put up the offer to allow people to write article on the website, the answer is easy. I respect people’s opinions and I am wiling to take them into consideration and have a discussion about them. Can you say the same?

3) K-God Says that the Rollerblading Community Should Become an Oligarchy. I Think He is Wrong.

It seems that K-God believes that rollerblading is a type of oligarchy (form of government in which power effectively rests with a small elite segment of society).

K-God Says,

“Image is everything and you don’t have one, the dudes at the front line know what they are doing, leave it to them.”
He clearly believes that only those at the “top” should be making the decisions for rollerblading, and all those who have not paid there dues should just be bystanders and not participate. He believes that I am not one of the people at the top of this oligarchy, but he believes that he, along with the people behind Roll Toronto have paid their dues.

K-God Says,

“The Dudes behind Roll Toronto are awesome dudes. Well established in the rollerblading community, practice what they preach, but most importantly paid there fucking dues. Look bro, when you pay your dues you have the freedom to voice an opinion and people will respect it, hence why I can say what I say and do what I do and get away with it”

To be honest I didn’t even know what the fuck Roll Toronto was until he brought it up, so I don’t really know who the people behind it are (from what I can see it looks to be run by Guy Crawford).  Now I have no disrespect toward the people Roll Toronto, but why the fuck should they be the only ones contributing to Rollerblading while everyone else just watches? Because some pecking order in the Ontario scene that allows their opinions to be the only valid ones? I say fuck that.  I think everyone can contribute to rollerblading in some small way if they want to. You do not have to be the most popular (or the best rollerblader) to be heard, and just because you are not as established as other rollerbladers does not make your opinion any less valid or useful. Throughout history oligarchies have failed, because the combined ideas of everyone have always been more powerful than the select ideas of the few. I personally think everyone should have a say in the direction rollerblading is going. K-God disagrees.

4) Who the Fuck is Roll Toronto Anyway and Why do you Keep Bringing Them Up?

In an article about CanadianRoll K-God brings up Roger and Roll Toronto.  Roger is a close and personal friend of mine (my best friend in fact) and I will defend him to the end. So whatever he said I am sure it was valid. But honestly, I had no idea who the fuck Roll Toronto was until now. I wish them the best of luck though, whoever they are, and whatever they do.

5) Me and K-God Finally Agree on Something. Kind of.

K-God Says,

“Speaking of voicing an opinion you guy’s copy and paste info from other sites, yes you give credit but still. You guys do have some reviews, but who wants to read or watch a product review with someone who knows less about the actual product then I know about the inner workings of the female genetaila . When has Canadian Roll ever had late breaking news? Sorry once, and here it is… Canadian Roll is no more!”

For the most part I agree. The Old CanadianRoll just copy and pasted news. It was boring as fuck. I hated doing it. This is why the new CanadianRoll doesn’t do that unless I feel that the news is completely necessary to share (or if I just like it). However, it seems the new CanadianRoll is pissing some people off. So it is a case of, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You insult the old CanadianRoll for the way it was run. I change it. You insult me for the new CanadianRoll and how I run it. Seems like I can’t make everyone happy.

K-God Says

“Back to the whole originality thing, have you ever heard of Roll.ca or Canadian Rolling? Strange eh? You are not pioneers, you most defiantly were not the first and wont be the last, not even close.”

I never claimed to be original. In fact, I have said that I am not original, throughout the whole “The Categories of Rollerblading, Fix Them. Seriously.” Article. I claimed that I ripped of the name of CanadianRoll from Rolling Revival (but so has everyone else with Roll in their name, really). I also claimed that I couldn’t come up with original names for the life of me.

However, I do disagree with you on two points.  First, the rhetorical question indicating that no one wants to read our product reviews. In response to this I will just post up a miniscule amount of people who have loved our review, I will even take them from separate sources, not just our website.

Ali (from the Rollerblade Esilo Review)

Great comprehensive review!
I really dig the professionalism of your hardware reviews.
Can’t wait to read the next one, keep up the good work!

Millet (From the Featherlite 2 Review)

Yo you do great reviews. Can you or someone on CA roll run a core balance frame review?

Alexia (Initial Brian Aragon 2 Razors Review)

I really appreciate all the help. I didn’t think you would write that much. It helped reansure me that I probly won’t have to pay $50 for more shipping lol. Thanks again.

Singularity (from the RW messageboard, about the initial Featherlite review)

Dude, that was a really good review. At first I thought you were just going to link to a picture of the frames and say, “Yeah, they are awesome!!11.” Nicely done.

Fendeshi (from the RW board, Kizer Fluid Review)

excellent excellent review man. currently a fan of gc but you almost pulled me to kizer man. thanks for a super honest review. cheers~

Guy from HL

Hey thanks for the review, i was seriously this close to buying the Carbons (this, meaning really fucking close) and then i decided that i am gonna go for the Icons 2. This review just concreted my decision that much more.

DP (Carbon Review)

awesomee revieww guy from hl made the right choice haha what size did u get nick 12 or 13

It would seem that a lot of people want to read our reviews.

Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, and it seems like Tom Hyser (and yes K-God, this time I am name dropping), one of the most innovative minds in rollerblading in terms of creating products, liked our review of the new Rollerblades Estilos.  When Roger met him at Bitter Cold, not only had he read the review, but was extremely impressed with it. So much so, that he wanted to give us another pair at cost to write a follow up. But what does Tom Hyser know about products? Right K-God?

For you last rhetorical question of when has CanadianRoll ever given late breaking news you may want to refer to both the Richie Eisler interviews HERE and HERE. The Cameron Card interview HERE, or one of the many Leon Basin Interviews (one of them can be found HERE if you want). That is just naming SOME of the original material. You may want to try looking a little harder next time before making bullshit accusations. Nice try though.

6) K-God Goes Back to the “Pro” and “Am” Discussion. It is Just as Painful as His First Attempt.

K-God accuses me of cutting down the kid who won “Am” because he competed against little kids. What K-God fails to realize is that I didn’t say that the whole “Am” category was comprised of “Little Jimmy’s.” I simply stated that competitions should be more accessible to little kids, and pointed out how this could help rollerblading in the long run. I also never said that the placing in a competition would make a little kid (or a kid of a lower skill level) continue rollerblading. In fact, I stated that it was the comradery and spirit of competition that would keep them in rollerblading. Once again, reading comprehension, it is an incredible talent that all should learn.

K-God then accuses me of name-dropping. K-God has not learned the definition of name dropping yet.  Name dropping is to impress others by showing you know important people.  I never once claimed to know the names I used in the article; I never claimed to know Aragon, Haffey, Broskow, or Morales. Nor did I use their names to impress anyone. I would hope by now, if people have followed rollerblading long enough, that they would know these names by heart and they wouldn’t impress anyone just by mentioning them. K-God seems to disagree. He must REALLY like them to be impressed by the mere mention of their names.

K-God then misinterprets me (again) and says that my article indicates that good rollerbladers in the Greater Toronto Area scene, such as “aron, Eric, Crizz, Blair and DUB”, would have to compete in “Am” K-God clearly didn’t understand the article, which indicated that they would not have to compete under the “Am” category, they could still compete under the “Pro” category, just under a different name (I won’t even insert a reading comprehension joke here, they are getting repetitive and too easy). K-God then concludes by slandering me

“Since you are so consumed with titles and categories I’ll put you under the heading “Go to Toys-r-us and get a pair of fisher price skates and can you finally get some new fucking pants” and you can fuck off. How about that champ?”

To answer you question K-God, I really don’t care where you place me. It seems that you write off most rollerbladers before you even meet them. It seems they haven’t paid their “dues” enough to be worthy of an opinion in your eyes. So slander me and use derogatory comments all you want, your narrow mindedness is the only defense I need.  That, and you nicknamed yourself K-God.

Conclusion

So there you have it, my response to K-God’s article. It seems I have disrupted someone’s perception of the rollerblading pecking order in the Greater Toronto Area. It looks like he is going to have to deal with it. Just for the record K-God, CanadianRoll isn’t going anywhere, and we don’t owe anyone “dues.” This will always be a forum for people to voice their opinions, even if they aren’t rollerblading’s elite. We can’t all be like you.

I hope to hear from you again!

-Nick D’Amico

K-God’s Opinion on CanadianRoll and Other Topics

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls children of all ages (18+) I’d like to welcome you to the “Canadian Roll is as washed up as a cheating wife coming home to her husband” show.

1.               Where to begin? Where to begin? I don’t know… I could go more ways then Tial Tequila.

Holly shit, the first thing I got to say is and I quote…”I am willing to go as far as saying that if your competition is not a part of the World Rolling Series, then you have no right to use these titles” Nick you are a clown. That seriously had to be the absolute dumbest thing I heard in my life. I think you should send the Olympics an email clearly stating you animosity towards them for also using the terms amateur and professional. You should also state that if they don’t wont to part with such terms then they should join the World Rolling Series. You are a complete fucking idiot! This is just one of the reasons I decided to write this little piece and to tell you the fact that you have officially lost all right to speak in public again.

I do have a small question for you though Nick… Why? Oh god why? On earth would you go on bladr.com and say that if we the reading publics were to write and article that you would put it up on Canadian Roll. C’mon Nick, use your head bro. Your telling me that within this awesome community of rollerblading, with the hecklers, degenerates and attention seeing ego-maniacs (my self being the best example) you thought that noone would dare to write this, that’s worse then Paul Bernardo teaching a girls gym class.

Roll Toronto… So Roger jumps on this website and starts verbally vomiting about originality and such. Who thinks Roger’s glasses aren’t near thick enough. Clearly he can’t see exactly whom he was talking to. The Dudes behind Roll Toronto are awesome dudes. Well established in the rollerblading community, practice what they preach, but most importantly paid there fucking dues. Look bro, when you pay your dues you have the freedom to voice an opinion and people will respect it, hence why I can say what I say and do what I do and get away with it. Speaking of voicing an opinion you guy’s copy and paste info from other sites, yes you give credit but still. You guys do have some reviews, but who wants to read or watch a product review with someone who knows less about the actual product then I know about the inner workings of the female genetaila . When has Canadian Roll ever had late breaking news? Sorry once, and here it is… Canadian Roll is no more! Rollerblading has less use for you then grind plates. Back to the whole originality thing, have you ever heard of Roll.ca or Canadian Rolling? Strange eh? You are not pioneers, you most defiantly were not the first and wont be the last, not even close. I do wish this was a simple case of passing the torch, a eventual evolution theory, you know the one where dominance rules? Shit this is not even a Wal-Mart moving into a small town and overthrowing the little guy. I hate to say it but in this case… In the land of the blind the one eyed man is not king.

In the new article, you ramble on about a beginner category. You go on and on a few good points made, but you are either “Pro” or you are not and if you are not you are an “Am”. Not to mention that you completely cut down the kid that actually won “Am” for beating a little kid . If you not winning a contest does not push “little Jimmy” to want to win the next one and roll with the big boys that’s his issue, not mine not yours not the kid that won the “Am” contest. I’ll give it to you though; I do hear what you’re saying about the kids and new faces. With our sport not being what it once was do we really need kids who are not going to continue rollerblading because of a contest category or placing? This sport does not need kids coxed or babied through it. No coaches or babysitters, you are competing against yourself. We were all “little Jimmy’s” at one time or another and we got through it with just “Pro and Am”. You said when you think of “Pro’s” then you name drop like a $10.00 snitch. I am not those guys I never even was close but I have competed with those dudes more then once and yeah I got my ass kicked and I am still rollerblading, am I not? So if for example like Aaron, Eric, Crizz, Blair and DUB (Look who’s name dropping now) have to skate in “Am” Then what are you? Since you are so consumed with titles and categories I’ll put you under the heading “Go to Toys-r-us and get a pair of fisher price skates and can you finally get some new fucking pants” and you can fuck off. How about that champ?

Rollerblading does not need to be fixed, it just need dumb idiots to stop giving advice about what’s wrong with he sport and realize that they are what is wrong with the sport. Image is everything and you don’t have one, the dudes at the front line know what they are doing, leave it to them.
The One and Only
Infamous K*GOD

P.S. Brain you are still awesome.

You’re Probably Going to Complain I Didn’t Post This Sooner…AJ DeLong’s Foot From Brampton Comp 3

Looks like I have already gotten some angry mail that I haven’t posted up AJ DeLong’s video footage from the recent Brampton, Ontario park competition. I guess people need to calm down a bit. I respect that AJ took the time out to do this, and then upload it all, that is dedication. You have two viewing options here, the shitty youtube version (which doesn’t show the “Am” and “Pro” finals), or the excellent HD version (which does show the “Am” and “Pro” finals”). I will post the youtube videos below, but if you want to see all the footage in all its HD goodness go to the Task Around blog HERE.

S.K.A.T.E

“Am” Qualifiers

“Pro” Qualifiers

-Nick. D

The Categories of Rollerblading, Fix Them. Seriously.

A Little Note Before My Next Piece.

A lot of people have taken notice of my “The (Bad) Archetypes Who Will Fuck You Over In Competition” article, and there have been many differing opinions on the matter. Some people agree with what I said, some people partially agree, and others think I am angry, bitter, and attention seeking. To be honest, I got the response I wanted. All great topics are debatable, and all great topics stimulate conversation, making those who are presented with the topic constructively think about the subject matter at hand (or, you know, whine because it wasn’t what they wanted to hear, and are afraid of other peoples’ opinions). Only through this form of constructive thought and debate can rollerblading stand in front of the proverbial mirror and improve itself. When you start to write pieces that everyone agrees with you realize that you are only writing fluff, gratifying the masses and reinforcing old beliefs that led us astray to begin with (A.K.A the old CanadianRoll). For this reason, I will only post things that I truly and honestly believe in.  You may agree with my opinions or they may offend you; however, I will offer an avenue for your counter thoughts to be presented. I will accept any piece of writing (that is relevant and well written) that is sent to my e-mail, canadianroll@hotmail.com, and will post it up on CanadianRoll, unedited, for all to read. If you don’t accept this and still complain, then I can only conclude that you are a lazy fuck, and I highly advise that you keep your mouth shut. Remember, complaining and pointing the finger is easy, but coming up with ideas and solutions, together, is far more constructive.

The Categories of Rollerblading, Fix Them. Seriously.

While at the third Brampton Competition, watching both the “Pros” and the “Amateurs” compete I had a thought. The categories we use to label ourselves seem inept in properly capturing the different levels of skating. This was most glaringly obvious during the “Amateur” competition. It was easy to see that the people at the top of this category were leaps and bounds ahead of those at the bottom in terms of skill level. Not only was it obvious, it was painfully obvious. So this leads to the question, why aren’t there more categories? It seems that many competitions limit themselves to this two level system. You are either a “Pro” or are trying to work yourself up to “Pro” status from “Amateur.” But what about “Little Jimmy” who just started a few months ago, knows very little about rollerblading, and enters into a competition expecting to be met with people at a similar skill level as him? When he sees the people he will be up against he will most likely shit his pants and become scared of all the “big kids” and their “hard grinds and gaps,” which may ultimately lead to discouragement and him quitting rollerblading altogether. That or he will persevere, work hard, stick with it, and become good (and if you believe this lie, where the fuck have you been for the past ten years? Most kids today have the attention span of a stapler, if it doesn’t flash, go “BOOM,” “show boobies,” kill things in the virtual world, or bring them instant gratification, they will most likely loose interest in a heart beat). Let’s face it; we need all the little kids we can get. All the sessions and competitions I have been to lately have a severe lack of new faces, particularly, little faces. Everyone I see is getting older, and rollerblading isn’t his or her number one priority. The real world is catching up to an aging rollerblade community, which doesn’t bode well for our long-term prospects.

My suggestion, we create a “Beginner” category for competitions with different groupings. Just not called that because “Beginner” sounds lame as fuck, and no one wants to be known as a beginner at anything, it is pretty much another way of saying, “You are fucking horrible at this, looser.” But for the all intensive purposes of this article I will label it “Beginner” because I lack creativity with names (our name is CanadianROLL….seriously, I ripped it off of ROLLing revival, which I think every other blog in ROLLerblading did too). This new category will serve many purposes. First, little kids, or kids at a certain skill level, will not feel left out and automatically defeated when entering competitions. How bad would it feel entering something knowing you had no chance of advancing in it?* Well this is how bad they feel every time news of a competition comes around. This “Beginner” category would allow kids of a comparable skill level to compete against one another, which will push them to work harder, because they know they have a chance of advancing, and possibly winning something. Also, this format allows kids to meet others at a comparable age and skill level, which is more conducive to making friends, and we all know that half the fun of rollerblading, and one of the reasons we all stay in it, is because of the great friends we have made.

There is good news for the older and more experience people as well. It isn’t all about the little kids! For all of you competing in “Amateur” I am sure you have felt the same way I have when you were placed in a heat against “Little Timmy.”  It is fucking embarrassing. You almost feel like you are leading a lamb to the slaughter. You know Timmy has an ice cream’s chance in hell in advancing, and you are left asking yourself “Why the fuck did he enter?” Then you start questioning how good you really are if you competing against a nine year old. Deny it all you want, I am sure the thought has crossed your mind at least once. Then, once Timmy looses, you kind of feel like an asshole. Beating a little kid in a rollerblading competition is like beating up women, it’s a loose, loose situation. In the back of your head you hear, Congratulations big man, you just beat a kid who can’t soul grind a curb. Good for you. With the introduction of this “Beginner” category in competitions all this is eliminated, and all those more advanced rollerbladers are left competing against once another in “Amateur.” Thus, you don’t feel like an asshole, and the “Amateur” category becomes about a trillion times more entertaining to watch (and trust me, it needs it).

Now, I understand there are factors working against my idea. Time limitations, more prizes needed, etc… But I really think the ends justify the means here. The fact that competitions, and thus rollerblading, will become less threatening to little kids is something that makes rollerblading look more appealing to them. Plus, it is another factor that contributes to them sticking with it. I think this alone justifies the extending the length of competitions. Also, who is to say that they have to have equal time when compared to “Pro” and “Amateur” runs? And if you can’t be bothered to watch them, then show up twenty minutes later. In terms of prizes, I am sure kids don’t need a trophy, cash, or a pair of skates. They would be happy with anything. It is the acknowledgement that they crave. Fuck, I remember competing for a can of root beer on a hot day when I first start rollerblading, I won, and it was some of the most fun I had, and I still remember it to this day (it was one of those cheap “No Name” brands too, but man, did it taste good). If you can think of any other reasons why a “Beginner” category wouldn’t work I would be more than happy to hear them.

You may notice that I put “Pro” and “Amateur” in quotations, and trust me there is a reason. These names are just as fucking horrible as “Beginner.” I only know of a handful of people in the Canadian scene who deserve the word “Pro” to be associated with their names. Everyone else can fuck off. When I think of a Pro, names like Chris Haffey, Brian Aragon, Alex Broskow, and Franky Morales,  come to my mind, not your local skatepark hero. The category of “Amateur” is just as bad. You know who is considered an Amateur still? Mark Wodja, Sam Moore, Adrien Anne, if you can’t compete with the likes of them, then you have no right to be labeled under the same category. In fact, I am willing to go as far as saying that if your competition is not a part of the World Rolling Series, then you have no right to use these titles.  These events are where the true pros and amateurs compete. However, I must remind you, I lack creativity with names, so come up with something yourself, I’ve done enough work for today.

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*If you don’t know this answer ask every other rider in the Tour de France when Lance Armstrong decides to compete. They most likely feel like shit.

-Nick. D